Kadath Express - Travelogue is copyright © 2022 Ryan Lovelock

010

Story & art by Ryan Lovelock

Follow Lazlo Kodak as he boards the mysterious Kadath Express! Enjoy the sights until you eventually reach the end of the line…Every journey will be different depending on your choices along the way.

CLICK HERE TO BEGIN YOUR JOURNEY

If you like this free digital version, please consider getting yourself a limited edition physical copy of the book using the link below!

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[align center] <img alt="010" src=https://imgur.com/AcEQqiU.jpg/> Story & art by Ryan Lovelock Follow Lazlo Kodak as he boards the mysterious Kadath Express! Enjoy the sights until you eventually reach the end of the line...Every journey will be different depending on your choices along the way. [[CLICK HERE TO BEGIN YOUR JOURNEY->INTRO]] If you like this free digital version, please consider getting yourself a limited edition physical copy of the book using the link below!

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/PXwcyNg.jpg"/> Lazlo Kodak waits for the subway in the dank underground tunnels of the city of Arcady. On this quiet moment of introspection during his routine evening commute, Lazlo is blissfully oblivious to the fact that he’s about to embark on the trip of a lifetime... [[...huh?->012]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/IcKRUvy.jpg" /> Things tend to get somewhat crowded during rush hour. With a sigh and a gulp, propped precariously between a sweaty armpit and a balding head, Lazlo breathes in deeply, preparing for the malodorous vacuum of the crowded compartment... [[...gulp!->014]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/oYAQEZd.jpg" /> In the clammy belly of the beast, Lazlo begins to feel somewhat claustrophobic. Feeling his heart rate rising, his breathing losing rhythm and his grip getting slippery, he clings to the rail like an amateur pole dancer. Bright wisps appear at the corner of his eyes, gradually filling his field of view, for what seems like an eternity. Within seconds, he collapses to the floor. [[...gasp!->016]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/x4A6z5c.jpg" /> Waking up to an empty carriage, Lazlo is confused and disorientated. Making his way to his usual therapy appointment, he shares the latest developments in his whiny woes, fuelled by the recent catastrophe. Finally at last, a wise prescription, just the excuse he needed: “You sound somewhat stressed. What you need is... a quest, a grand tour, an adventure, a mini-break... a HOLIDAY!” [[Hit the road!->018]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/jyqgAhy.jpg"/> After packing his suitcase, withdrawing his life savings and rushing to the station, Lazlo finds himself gazing at the magnificent locomotive of the Kadath Express . While its timeless interior comforts survive unfading, its itinerary keeps changing and surprising on every journey, with only its terminus remaining perpetual. For time immemorial, this vintage monstrosity has borne its passengers to the fabled city of Kadath. The iron behemoth sighs deeply, its cyclopean gaze unflinching, as it fills the air with steam, ready to depart again... <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Choose the intimate luxury of First Class...->088]] [[Choose the convivial comforts of Second Class...->054]] [[Choose to try your luck in Third Class...->184]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/bg0Ml70.jpg"/> As the last category to be allowed to board the train, Lazlo and the other third class passengers are forced to twiddle their thumbs in the enormous waiting room of Arcady Station. Vending machine snacks are quickly depleted by the hungry horde, reading materials bartered and fought over as the minutes turn into hours. Time seems to slow to a trickle in this limbo of expectations, but finally Lazlo is abruptly roused from his torpor by the thunderous snoring of a permanent resident of the station. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Make a desperate dash to the platform...->130]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/kl1UXQp.jpg"/> As a Second Class ticket holder, Lazlo will be sharing his cabin with fellow passenger Ktulù ‘Nglui. Cheerful and chatty, the friendly cephalopod is brimming with anecdotes and questions. But beneath his portly and benevolent appearance, a smart and ruthless chess player is unexpectedly revealed. Seeing his plans of quiet introspection endangered, Lazlo begins to plan ways to avoid excessive chit chat by going on a solitary expedition at the next station. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[You fancy a relaxed walk on the promenade of St.Lapin.->190]] [[A sleigh ride at the Koira National Park sounds refreshing.->070]] [[A cool drink at the Red Well of Jarana is what you’re after.->026]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/SeXjz6O.jpg"/> In the refined comfort of his private First Class Sleeper compartment, Lazlo spends the first of many lonely nights. Only occasionally disturbed by the timid knock of an obsequious attendant, he watches the world flow outside the window with detached satisfaction. The air conditioning requires an airtight seal from the hustle and bustle of the exterior world, its exotic sounds and smells ever so distant. Lazlo sighs, thinking to himself that he must be missing out already. It will be another few days before Piranesi is in sight, but there’s a few stations in between to get a breath of fresh air... <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[You fancy a relaxed walk on the promenade of St.Lapin.->190]] [[A sleigh ride at the Koira National Park sounds refreshing.->070]] [[A cool drink at the Red Well of Jarana is what you’re after.->026]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/HyTTeyv.jpg"/> Seeking rest from the slippery challenge of ice-covered cobblestone alleys, Lazlo ventures inside a nearby store; a repository for old and curious things one finds in odd corners of Mt. Moo, its musty treasures hidden from the public eye. Crowding every inch of the curiosity shop are inscrutable carvings; rusted exotic weapons and twisted figures of china, wood, iron and ivory; weird tapestries and furniture that seem to have been designed at the height of hallucination. The haggard visage of the old shopkeeper appears perfectly suited to his surroundings: nothing in the whole collection looks older or more worn. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[You think you could handle the funky mines of Queso.->076]] [[You seek communal warmth in a crowded tavern.->226]] [[You accept the hospitality of a local shepherd.->188]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/mKIwb3m.jpg"/> Lazlo reawakens in a stranger’s cramped bedsit to the smell of hot coffee and sunlight seeping from a porthole. Memories from the previous night are hazy, but overall pleasant, marred only by a thumping hangover. Panic ensues as Lazlo realises he must have missed the train departure by hours, but quickly subsides as one of the roomates of the cramped apartment offers to give him a lift to the station aback his pterosaur. Gradually regaining sobriety in flight, Lazlo doesn’t particularly feel like spoiling the moment by asking the jockey for an account of the previous night’s events. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Where you ->112]][[will end up ->102]][[is a mystery.->062]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/MGHlT5z.jpg"/> Attracted by the glow-worm bait, something big begins to pull on the titanium hook, and Brock Torpedo activates the high-power electric reel on his carbon fiber telescopic rod, tensing the fluorocarbon line. Fully protected from the swarming mosquitoes by his pressurised exosuit, the experienced explorer casually extols – without a hint of irony – the virtues of braving the wilderness and roughing it as he effortlessly hauls the giant catfish specimen out of the murky waters. After a celebratory snapshot, the beast is unhooked and released, and the duo enjoy a meal of instant noodles and a warm drink from the vacuum flask while debating the environmental impact of invasive species. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Remember to take your trash with you when you leave.->260]].

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/0E02e2e.jpg"/> The lack of access to clean water in the region forces the Well Brides of Jarana into a life of hardship, forced to spend their days walking to and from the well to collect water. As a result, they are not particularly sympathetic towards lost tourists asking for directions. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Immediately regret asking where the closest bathroom is.->220]].

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/QnNzkhC.jpg"/> Shortly after rejoining the rest of the passengers, Lazlo is forced to spend a couple of harrowing hours meditating on his mortality in the profound darkness of Damocles’ Grotto. Engine vibrations occasionally shake loose the more tenuous of stalactites, a fact tactically omitted from Kadath Express marketing materials in order to avoid unsavoury implications to insurance premiums. A cadre of mole engineers is promptly summoned to repair the tracks. Glassy-eyed travellers recover from the thrill of a brush with death with a strong cognac, offered free of charge. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Gaze into the eyes of the Trampier Idol at the Gygax Gallery.->118]] [[Witness street dentistry practice in the back streets of Ranatoro.->136]] [[Inspect the mysterious giant fossil trackway of Playa Piedra.->154]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/Gn4fm0T.jpg"/> The water taxi suffers a hull breach on its way to the station, and the boat is left stranded on the fringes of a primordial forest. The panicked driver quickly disappears in the undergrowth shouting hurried warnings in an alien language, leaving Lazlo alone amongst the tall trees. Hiding in the ferns, he spends the following hours sneaking through the wilderness, haunted by the low-pitched clucking of a pack of voracious Deinopullus Setotus ... <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Pray your pollen allergy doesn’t make you sneeze.->224]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/Zx2CaWq.jpg"/> Red dead leaves are briefly brought to life again, flaring in the headlights and swirling for an instant in the trail of the Kadath Express as it crosses the Crimson Woods. Drowsy and slightly tipsy from the latest trip to the mulled wine samovar in the dining compartment, Lazlo Kodak begins to feel melancholy at the thought of his trip coming to an end upon reaching Kadath. The conductor joins him for a drink and encourages him to disembark at one of the smaller stations before their final destination – they might not be hotspots, but the cruise isn’t over just yet! <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Dawdle on the secluded beach of Zaffre Cove.->082]]. [[Linger in a fishing cabin on Lake Frigidaire.->238]]. [[Loiter in the vastness of the Dom-Dom Flats.->212]].

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/MXlEZiH.jpg"/> Like the mosquito-infested mangrove swamps that surround it, the origins of Imboca are shrouded in mist. A few centuries ago, the timid indigenous population of the Gaur River delta saw the silent invasion of the ichthyic Deep Ones, who rose from the murky depths of the hundreds of streams that converge here. The displacement over the following years was slow and relatively peaceful: original residents moved away due to the rising costs of housing and were replaced by Deep One-owned tourist establishments who to this day pay huge rents to the original owners. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Sample the salty staple food of the locals.->216]]. [[Join a fellow passenger in his angling adventure.->024]]. [[Attempt to fish your own lunch.->164]].

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/fJSjCbV.jpg"/> Brought to life by skilled performers with flawless timing and perfect coordination, it’s easy to forget that the terrifying serpentine creature is made of inert bamboo wood and brightly coloured fabric. As it corkscrews through the street to the sound of the cymbals, bystanders of all ages flee from its path, screaming in glee. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Pester the stone guards of Sarnath Palace.->144]] [[Visit the Academy of Ascetic Performances.->060]] [[Attend the prestigious Aardvark Derby.->058]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/BFEUXLA.jpg"/> Every day at sunset, visitors of the Gaur Temple are corralled in orderly queues and swiftly processed by teams of trained monks. With clockwork efficiency, hypnotic mantras are performed, group blessings are offered and the pilgrims are liberally sprinkled with holy water – with a hose. The temple circuit ends with the customary offering of a lotus lamp to the Gaur River. In order to reduce the environmental impact of the tradition and to increase the temple’s revenue, lamps are collected by monks downstream and resold to tourists until they eventually disintegrate in the sacred waters. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Assist the lamps in their samsara.->034]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/evytkbM.jpg"/> Members of the Masonry Guild engage in friendly competition during keg tossing season. Pitting their strongest builders against each other, large wooden barrels filled with pulverised chalk are flung high in the air by these burly strongmen. As barrels come crashing down and the square fills with dust, Lazlo notes that while missing the tightly-packed crowd may be considered ‘ideal’, it is by no means incited. Encouraged by the rowdy crowd, Lazlo unsuccessfully attempts to lift one of the smallest barrels – to the general amusement, momentary distraction and ultimate downfall of last year’s champion. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Leave before you are enclosed in sealed barrel!->248]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/dFkUXv3.jpg"/> While on a tour of the Royal Starfish Gardens, Lazlo wanders off the trail and is distracted by a particularly impressive bioluminescent specimen. Realising his mistake only instants before he is gobbled up by a Botanist Anglerfish, he makes a weightless run for it. The heroic tour quickly interrupts the chase, dissuading the local fauna with his wit and a well-oiled harpoon gun. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Get a well-deserved scolding and give a generous tip.->142]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/kBGoElz.jpg"/> Countless pilgrims descend these worn steps at sunrise to take a ritual dip and purify their souls in the sacred murky waters. However, due to the rising pollution levels caused by rotting corpses and toxic sewage, spiritual renewal often comes at a price. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Search for a more hygienic form of soul cleansing.->180]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/8gBlFMx.jpg"/> The procession of towering juggernauts slowly climbs to the highest point of the city. Here, the sacred spools of ancestral whiskers are ceremoniously rolled downhill, where rival city wards compete to bring them back up the fastest. Although the historical significance of this hazardous competition has long been lost, its appeal to reckless daredevils has not. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Flee from the joyous ritual entangling.->096]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/dMc9mud.jpg"/> Each peacefully entranced in their own escapism of choice, the villagers of this dusty hamlet fail to notice the visiting alien intruding on their afternoon siesta, treating Lazlo to a priceless spectacle of quaint slice of life. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Spoil the moment by lingering longer than necessary.->180]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/wfRqqh3.jpg"/> After penetrating a shroud of heavy velvet curtains, the visitors find themselves in pitch black darkness as a crescendo of classical music builds the atmosphere and they begin to float upwards into the unknown. In the vast blackness of the planetarium’s main hall, guests enjoy a few moments of miraculous weightlessness and childlike wonder, hopping between clockwork-operated brass representations of the planets and moons. Antiquated automata of mythological beings bring to life the timeless stories of constellations, as ornamented astronomical bodies gracefully dance around the sun to the operatic arias blaring from hidden phonographs. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Avoid a midair collision with your fellow space-enthusiast.->020]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/lmriINb.jpg"/> Customers of this renowned itinerant bookstall are forbidden from browsing the carefully curated selection of dusty hardbound tomes. Instead, following a thorough consultation, the wizened owners convincingly prescribe a single, specific publication, accepting nothing more than a used book from the client in return. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Engrossed in the cultivated prose,->202]][[ you distractedly keep walking.->086]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/vcI6Sye.jpg"/> For centuries, locals have considered the ancient waterhole a sacred place, inhabited by a guardian deity that granted wishes and wellbeing in exchange for a coin. More recently, a group of pragmatic researchers conducted a probing investigation, theorising these legends may have originated from the biocidal properties of copper and silver. Consequently, it was suggested, coin-throwers may have been less affected by a range of bacterial infections, some even appearing to have been cured. In response, an embittered mob took upon themselves their own probing investigation, throwing these scientists down the well, and the name was changed to Well of Sighs. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Catch a glimpse of a falling star reflected in the deep waters.->020]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/6YAFwyn.jpg"/> Oblivious to the immeasurable sums lost and gained by the betting crowds of high society, the humongous racing aardvarks peacefully nap in their vast, smelly stables. Here they can enjoy a well deserved period of resting, scrubbing and pampering after each nail-biting race. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Set up a date with a charming local.->126]] [[Attend the chaotic Yarn Run.->046]] [[Explore the Halls of Memory.->222]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/u57lKBG.jpg"/> Students of the Academy of Ascetic Performance undergo years of rigorous training in the arts of sword swallowing, rope climbing, snake charming, fire breathing, tightrope walking and juggling before they are finally ready to spend the rest of their careers begging on the streets. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Set up a date with a charming local.->126]] [[Attend the chaotic Yarn Run.->046]] [[Explore the Halls of Memory.->222]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/ZKopxa7.jpg"/> As the sudden clatter of collapsing bowls interrupts his shoddy attempt at mindfulness, Lazlo fails to appreciate the lesson of impermanence hidden in the broken dishes before him. Unfortunately, this particular establishment follows a no refund policy for cases of failed enlightenment. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[You are forced to spend the night in a crummy hotel.->196]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/ee5r4UT.jpg"/> After a few interminable minutes, a familiar voice attracts Lazlo’s attention. Sitting on a large toadstool with a complicit smile, a local guide invites him to join a fungal barbecue. As he joins the campfire, he realises he’s not the only passenger left behind. The small group intends to take a shortcut across Spore Grove before rejoining the train at the next station. All worries dissipate as laughter, stories, secrets and sauce are amicably shared under the starlit sky. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Savour a couple of smoky grilled mushroom skewers.->028]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/VgUzUcg.jpg"/> Unfamiliar with the obscure tipping customs of Piranesi, and subsequently stuck in another heated argument with a throng of irritable local rickshaw drivers, Lazlo desperately chases after the caboose of the Kadath Express, ultimately failing to board on time. Misinterpreting his anguished squawking for an expression of unrequited romantic longing, a fellow passenger offers Lazlo only a languid curious look instead of a much-needed helping hand. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Start walking along the rails as the sun sets.->064]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/fR1ocGS.jpg"/> As the train crosses the mirror-like surface of Vellam Lake, shoals of flying fish leap to its sides to salute the gawking passengers. The floating city of Imboca – with its picturesque bridges, romantic canals, colourful festivals and buzzing markets – welcomes travellers with open arms during the dry high season, provided they have open wallets. Periodically swelling in size to accommodate the seasonal influx of tourists and constantly changing its appearance due to its dramatic tides, the ephemeral city seems designed to dazzle its visitors. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Dare the precarious Whoopee Bridge.->232]] [[Wish upon a lotus lamp.->038]] [[Attend a stranger’s cremation uninvited.->178]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/Pv5NgOm.jpg"/> Cocooned in fur-trimmed coveralls and tightly strapped in the basket of a sled, Lazlo is propelled across the frigid landscape by a flurry of feisty furry beasts: an exhilarating, yet chilling experience. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Set up an appointment with a chiromancer.->228]] [[Attend this evening’s spectacular rodent parade.->236]] [[Participate in a cable-car crocodile safari.->134]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/2hLvwFH.jpg"/> Not a degree too hot or too cold, and in no particular rush, Lazlo enjoys a couple of hours of comfortable boredom, filling out crosswords in the shade of a blooming dragon tree. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Use the toll-free telephone to summon your transport when ready.->068]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/nr9vanb.jpg"/> At home, Lazlo had learnt how to avoid awkward situations, fearful of being the focus of unwelcome attention. But there had been a price: he had missed out on a lot. But here and now, fitting in is no longer an option: he is the stupid foreigner, he never knows what to do, how to act, and everyone stares at him wherever he goes. Surprisingly, this was beginning to feel liberating. Through travel, he had freed himself from his inhibitions. His journeys had taught him a valuable lesson: not looking like a fool is simply not an option in any rich and interesting life, wherever it may unfold. “The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” -Marcel Proust <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[You've reached the end of the line.->TITLE]] If you enjoyed this preview, please consider buying a physical copy of the book: www.kadathexpress.bigcartel.com

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/EsRmVFn.jpg"/> The industrious dairy-miners of the Queso Caves are always happy to accompany visitors on a guided tour of the largest hard cheese quarry in the world. After a rigorous and comprehensive education in the production and ageing processes of the delectable delicacy, tourists are rewarded with a never-ending tasting session of samples, showcasing the broad variety of flavours, textures and aromas of the local product. At the giftshop, souvenirs of the gastronomical wonder are permanently on sale at rock-bottom prices due to a global import moratorium on these cheese-related products on account of their insufferable pong. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Enjoy every precious bit of the foul-smelling specialty.->090]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/siMRNob.jpg"/> As he enters a randomly picked, dimly lit dive bar, Lazlo feels like he has entered an uncomfortably private space. The aroma of yesterday’s beer still hangs in the air, the food selection is limited to pork rinds, pretzels and microwaved corn dogs. Occupied with a televised match with the rowdy local clientele, the beefy bartender seems to feel no expedition to acknowledge Lazlo’s presence. After quickly identifying the favoured team and deducting the general framework of the sport, he manages to fake enough knowledge of the game to sustain a few basic shouted conversations, and leaves the bar hours later, slightly inebriated and covered in colourful garb. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[You're still humming the catchy anthem, hours later.->206]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/KVIeODK.jpg"/> Leaping from the Leng Plateau to a vertiginously elevated railroad, the train begins the long crossing of the Sea of Clouds, stopping only at its midpoint to refuel in Zonzo, the suspended town. The rickety viaduct of inscrutable heights has for centuries resisted the occasional squall and offers stunning views over the expanse of rolling mists below. But the repetitive landscape is abruptly interrupted at the junction where all the bridges over the fog meet. A no-man’s land free of any jurisdiction, the tottering mass of casinos, bars and hovels clings to the steep structures, housing a buzzing population of carousers, gamblers, vagrants and artists. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Join your companions in a pub crawl.->210]] [[A quiet solitary drink is what you’re after.->078]] [[High-altitude clubbing is your jam.->172]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/tP7cD3M.jpg"/> The sapphire waters and white beaches of Zaffre Cove are popular with both professional sandcastle sculptors and fearless surfers. But during the midseason, when specialists from the different disciplines often clash, the safest approach is to bury oneself in the sand. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Attempt – unsuccessfully – to rid yourself of the pesky sand in your socks.->156]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/OjjaECX.jpg"/> For a few coins or a bowl of soup, a troupe of buskers can be hired on the spot to annoy someone with their melodic insults or to serenade a lover. Their performances are usually so loud and atrocious that victims usually offer additional payment just to have them stop playing and leave. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Observe a charming snake performance.->114]] [[Participate in the Wyrm Celebration.->036]] [[Visit the suggestive Abbey of Tales.->092]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/LtyeVKR.jpg"/> After a few wrong turns, Lazlo begins to suspect he has stumbled into the wrong side of town. Far from the bright lights of the popular attractions, the squalid underbelly of the city seems to squirm and slither around him, with unknown eyes peering from the darkness, magnetically attracted to the curious-looking invader. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Pick up the pace as you attempt to find your bearings.->160]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/lsYj1HW.jpg"/> In rare moments when the sun shines and the air gets warmer, clusters of elderly characters can be found gathered in the narrow streets, busy playing board games. Epic conflicts of strategic alliances and ruthless betrayals are all played out at miniature scale in relative silence, only seldom interrupted by a frustrated grunt or some thoughtful grumbling. Once a game is over, victories are soberly celebrated, opponents shake hands, misdeeds are forgiven and imperilled friendships are mended. Old locals, stuck in their comfortable loops, pay little heed to Lazlo’s arrival in town and will hardly notice his departure. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[You are a First Class ticket holder.->032]] [[You are a Second Class ticket holder.->208]] [[You are a Third Class ticket holder.->194]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/SgUW6ye.jpg"/> At first glance, the small collection of dusty bones, broken pottery and cracked tombstones of this tranquil monastery might seem disappointing. But the stories narrated by the Tale Teller Monks on their exclusive guided tours are so fascinating and rich in evocative detail that a visitor feels like they have travelled through time and space. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Pester the stone guards of Sarnath Palace.->144]] [[Visit the Academy of Ascetic Performances.->060]] [[Attend the prestigious Aardvark Derby.->058]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/VSMLX56.jpg"/> Border guards of the Toz Outpost are reluctant to admit it on the record, but they’re somewhat glad to be relieved – even temporarily – from the mind-numbing boredom of their daily routine when a stray tourist needs rescuing from the mischievous dust devils of the plains. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Follow a trail of musty old book scent.->052]] [[Go on a cheeky gastronomic expedition.->124]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/CvHF8hF.jpg"/> Utterly knackered from non-stop sightseeing, Lazlo is at a loss for words when the omnibus driver peeks inside to ask where he’d like to be dropped off. The crowded transport invokes in him a vague sense of déjà vu, and our weary traveller begins to wonder: perhaps the right time to settle and rest has finally arrived? After all, adventure is in the mind of those who pursue it, and no sooner are we able to touch it that it vanishes, only to reappear much farther off in another form, just out of reach, at the limits of the imagination. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Are you all out of traveller’s cheques?->146]] [[Are ready to surrender to the flow?->074]] [[Don't you think it might be time to settle down?->230]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/bag4OEQ.jpg"/> Stranded at the wrong station after his traumatic taxi journey, Lazlo is forced to find an alternative mode of transport to catch up with the train. After some desperate pleading and generous tipping, he is set loose on a rickety handcar by a few snickering locals. His progress is steady but slow until the terrifying howl of a Leporine Chomper inspires in him an extraordinary adrenaline-fuelled boost. Catching up to his fellow passengers with his new exciting anecdote, Lazlo catches himself hoping for something a little more tranquil for his next stopover. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Gaze into the eyes of the Trampier Idol at the Gygax Gallery.->118]] [[Witness street dentistry practice in the back streets of Ranatoro.->136]] [[Inspect the mysterious giant fossil trackway of Playa Piedra.->154]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/kgxd7oM.jpg"/> As part of Lazlo’s cushy first class concordat, a guest liaison retrieves the wayward traveller and promptly ensconces him onboard. As the train descends into the deep dark waters of the Iridum Sea, watertight shutters are raised over the windows for all carriages. Cities of coral and towers of anemones that have been growing untouched for millennia rise against the underwater horizon, dimly illuminated by the light seeping from the surface high above. The intercom system announces that distinguished first class customers are to wear the diving suits provided in preparation for their exclusive sea floor walkabout. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Check the pressure valves and tighten the screws on your diving helmet.->042]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/T5RSPG3.jpg"/> Mere instants separate a crisp clear sky from a torrential deluge of freezing daggers. His interest in the previously overlooked parasols growing with every drop shed, Lazlo stoically pays up, as the merchant explains the grim reality of supply and demand with a sardonic grin. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[You are forced to spend the night in a crummy hotel.->196]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/ZF7p3Lw.jpg"/> Underground cockfights attract a nasty throng of gamblers, gang members and sadistic voyeurs. But in this occasion, the battling roosters unexpectedly decide to settle their argument peacefully, disappointing the bloodthirsty crowd of spectators. The referee suspects fowl play... <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Observe a charming snake performance.->114]] [[Participate in the Wyrm Celebration.->036]] [[Visit the suggestive Abbey of Tales.->092]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/1oJmsEL.jpg"/> Worried about the low health and safety standards of the local populace and horrified by the abysmal hygiene practiced by the street hawkers, Lazlo decides to grab something to eat at the first above-ground convenience store he can find. Managed primarily by out-of-towners to alleviate tourists of wherewithal, these cramped hovels are almost indistinguishable from one another, all teeming with dust covered, over-priced tinned goods and long-lasting groceries imported from far-off countries. For the same price he’d pay for an indigenous family meal, Lazlo settles on an ancient tin of canned sweet honey peaches. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Avoid spilling a single drop of precious syrup.->200]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/yDvtFJt.jpg"/> ‘Tis the season to be jolly! To dash through the snow; to wonder what fun it is to ride and sing – plummeting down the slope of a mountain strapped to a brace of wooden sticks – and to build impermanent simulacra out of ice and vegetables. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Follow a trail of musty old book scent.->052]] [[Go on a cheeky gastronomic expedition.->124]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/YiQi0MB.jpg"/> Tourists are encouraged to follow their instincts, strategically finagled by wafts of aromatic smoke as they peruse the multitude of street food stalls. Inexpensive meals of every taste, size and colour abound in the busy alleys filled with howling hawkers offering fragrant bites of mystery meat roasted on hot coals, peppery and hearty soups, fresh and colourful tropical fruit and all kinds of fish, insect and bird – deep fried into delectably crunchy morsels. Language barriers are comminuted as locals and travellers, enthralled in their own personal quest for flavoursome bites, join forces and share recommendations. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Toast with strangers as you gorge on unidentifiable delicacies.->214]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/YcXgQCV.jpg"/> The tiny souvenir shop is crowded from floor to ceiling with precarious towers of fragile objects of questionable quality and taste, from delicate porcelain tea sets to blown glass lanterns, a choice that seems to Lazlo suspiciously deliberate as he leaves the shop with a bag full of broken china. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[You are forced to spend the night in a crummy hotel.->196]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/ezWMz8G.jpg"/> Even Lazlo’s poor coordination, lack of courtship prowess and abysmal multi-tasking capabilities cannot prevent him from joining in, enthralled into a state of discombobulated trance by the sensuous choreography. This romantic connection is ruthlessly interrupted by the unimpressed panhandler. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Pester the stone guards of Sarnath Palace.->144]] [[Visit the Academy of Ascetic Performances.->060]] [[Attend the prestigious Aardvark Derby.->058]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/Bg6RywX.jpg"/> Spotted by a couple of fellow passengers he had been desperately trying to avoid, Lazlo reluctantly agrees to join them as they explore the bustling settlement. Their constant bargaining, complaining and arguing is irritating, but also uncomfortably familiar, reminding Lazlo of his own unexpressed internal monologues. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Unconvincingly promise to keep in touch.->180]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/KLf6N0Q.jpg"/> The precious stone eyes of the Trampier Idol had witnessed centuries of unspeakable rituals and human sacrifices before the sacred site was defiled by a group of rogue raiders. The twenty tonne stone statue has since been restored and has become the most iconic piece of this permanent collection of occult miscellania. It’s time to make your way to the station, only you’re not too sure which way you came from... <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Choose to->258]] [[take the->244]] [[longer route.->204]]. [[Choose to->174]] [[take a->072]] [[shortcut.->240]].

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/VcSIbNc.jpg"/> Quickly realising that all seats and shaded spots in the waiting room have already been taken, Lazlo bravely decides to venture solo outside the train station. In a nearby grove, he finds a cool spot on a dilapidated wall and starts reading, his mood gradually improving as the delightful evening breeze rises. But the smell of incense soon fills the air, followed by the hypnotic chanting of a seemingly endless procession of stout monks – the mesmerising percussion and bells of esoteric instruments making good, honest news reading quite impossible. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Venture deeper in the temple ruins.->166]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/oksAC4K.jpg"/> While unassuming and unglamorous in appearance, the humble noodle stalls attract a loyal and varied clientele, and are Zonzo’s worst-kept secret. From the lowly chimney sweepers to the smartly dressed executives, few can resist the enticing aroma of the hearty broths simmering away in archaic cauldrons, their deep, complex and layered flavours growing generation after generation. Perched on low plastic stools under flickering neon lights, customers contemplate the rhythms of daily life, occasionally grunting in appreciation as they loudly slurp down divinely tangy concoctions. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Order a second serving, silently hoping you won’t regret it tomorrow.->214]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/x1igfPE.jpg"/> Fluttering amongst piles of roasted corn and artfully folded parcels of mystery meat, Lazlo struggles to decide where to sate his appetite. But after a friendly-looking vendor feeds him a delightful morsel of crispy deep-fried flatbread filled with a mixture of spiced potato mash, tamarind chutney and a hint of yoghurt, he knows he is finally ready to commit. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Enthralled by these culinary marvels,->202]][[ you distractedly keep walking.->086]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/81CGSvX.jpg"/> While in transit, most romantic encounters are merely one-sided fantasies, platonic affairs, missed connections or ephemeral encounters. The occasional exception may be further complicated by conflicting schedules, diverging itineraries or shocking last-minute revelations. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Agree to remain friends.->096]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/v9k01IE.jpg"/> On his way to the buffet breakfast after a sleepless night, Lazlo discovers that the Underpass Motel caters to a very specific clientele: ghosts of individuals with no relatives constantly roaming for their next temporary haunting assignments. While not on the clock, they turn out to be a friendly, talkative, if only slightly unnerving, bunch. It’s time to head to the train station, only you’re not sure which way to go... <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Choose to ->116]][[follow your ->168]][[instincts.->186]] [[Choose to ask ->048]][[the concierge ->044]][[for directions.->250]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/nnT4u69.jpg"/> As he rushes to lodge himself in the crowded boarding queue, Lazlo catches his first and last glimpse of the locomotive cab interior. In the soot-covered, cramped labyrinth of hissing pipes and creaking valves, flashes of intermittent hellish light illuminate the zealous driver busy feeding the firebox to wake the engine from its slumber. Eternally bonded to his voracious mechanical bride, covered in sweat and grime but with a hint of prideful contentment, the stalwart mechanic seems oblivious to what he considers little more than a particularly vocal type of cargo: the passengers. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Shield yourself from the choking smoke...->242]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/20Yelnt.jpg"/> Unpopular with visitors due to its steep rolling dunes and blistering temperatures, the Litus Maxima is renowned for being both the World’s Largest Beach and the World’s Smallest Desert. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Wish you hadn’t forgotten your sunscreen.->138]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/PWiFFEa.jpg"/> The traditional perception of Jumping Jack alligators as a nuisance to locals and a threat to dwindling fish numbers have recently earned them a classification as vermin. This in turn has created new sources of revenue: cheap safaris in which hunters can take potshots at the leaping reptiles from a speeding cable car suspended over the marshes, and a booming exotic meat and leather industry. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Learn that alligator meat tastes like chicken.->176]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/db6vnrC.jpg"/> The sacred Bully Frogs are often kept as family pets by the wealthy of Ranatoro until they grow large enough to be used to guard their propriety against intruders. Due to their lack of teeth, they are usually outfitted with menacing and expensive dentures made of wood coated with porcelain, ivory and precious metals by expert craftsmen. You lose track of time and realise you need to make your way to the station, only you’re not too sure which way you came from... <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Choose to->258]] [[take the->244]] [[longer route.->204]]. [[Choose to->174]] [[take a->072]] [[shortcut.->240]].

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/FL9CGK8.jpg"/> Sheltering from a sudden drizzle of acid rain, Lazlo finds some comfort in the familiar atmosphere of a recognisable multinational fast-food chain. The reassuringly sterile furnishing, impersonal service and insipid meals are effectively designed to appeal to lonely commuters and weary travellers. The crowd eats silently, lulled by the looping muzak. As he munches on a bug-burger, Lazlo loses his appetite as his gaze falls on a bedraggled Piranesi beggar. Often victims of work-related injuries, the destitute cripples have no access to welfare and are often forced to rely on the charitable offerings of guilt-ridden tourists. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Change seats, and finish your meal while facing a bare wall instead.->200]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/sEQIIl0.jpg"/> News of the incident moves fast across the ocean floor, and an awkward interview with a local crew of journalists follows. Oblivious to the silent mouthing of the media characters surrounding him, and fully muted by his helmet bubble, the notes of the press and exactly how the incident will be reported is destined to remain a mystery to Lazlo. Stuck in his compartment for the following 48 hours to allow for a complete decompression and recovery from the excitement of the spotlight, he finds time to plan for his next excursion... <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Gaze into the eyes of the Trampier Idol at the Gygax Gallery.->118]] [[Witness street dentistry practice in the back streets of Ranatoro.->136]] [[Inspect the mysterious giant fossil trackway of Playa Piedra.->154]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/r0ALnPU.jpg"/> As a consequence of the increasing number of incidents involving tourists mocking and interfering with the duties of the steadfast sentries, a newly established contingent has been charged with protecting the Stone Guards: the Stone Guard’s Guard. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Set up a date with a charming local.->126]] [[Attend the chaotic Yarn Run.->046]] [[Explore the Halls of Memory.->222]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/vBPnYOJ.jpg"/> With no money left for his return trip, Lazlo is going to have to hitchhike and trundle the long way home. Luckily, his newfound experience in savouring the fragile beauty of the moment and the comfort of small pleasures could be exactly what he needs to fortify his will for whatever ordeal comes next. Lazlo’s frenetic adventures have seen him chasing only exotic places that he suspected might teach him something important. But right now, home seems as good as any other option. “Our battered suitcases were piled on the sidewalk again; we had longer ways to go. But no matter, the road is life.” -Jack Kerouac <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[You've reached the end of the line.->TITLE]] If you enjoyed this preview, please consider buying a physical copy of the book: www.kadathexpress.bigcartel.com

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/oK1t7Qx.jpg"/> Boisterous ochocooks are bound to attract a curious audience as their perform their famous acrobatic cooking. Seldom skipping a beat, limbs flailing skillfully in practised choreography, ingredients are chopped, pots stirred, and cuts sliced and seasoned liberally as they ballyhoo and promulgate noisily over the roar of their fiery stoves. Each chef specialises in a single signature dish, passed on for generations and refined to perfection. Diners are advised to avoid wasting any leftovers or requesting additional condiments; ochocooks are known for being violently defensive of their favourite recipes. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Fake appreciation as you attempt to swallow another scorching mouthful.->214]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/yP5SKYW.jpg"/> Reaching the station with plenty of time to spare before departure and eager to take advantage of the train’s air conditioning, Lazlo is disappointed to be stopped from boarding by an irritated and sweaty conductor. An engine fault will require repairs to carry on for the next couple of hours – and passengers will not be allowed to board until the issue is fully resolved. Unfortunately, the delay will not be long enough to allow for any proper sightseeing, and the hot and sticky atmosphere means the grumpy passengers split to look for their own solitary respite. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Wander aimlessly around the station.->120]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/kG5gcyi.jpg"/> Passengers of all classes tumble off their bunks, sherry glasses and saucers come crashing down in the dining compartment as the emergency brakes are suddenly activated and the old locomotive comes to a screeching halt. One of the perks of a First Class ticket on the Kadath Express is being able to – once per trip – request an unscheduled stop at any time, in any location, whatever the weather condition, by simply lifting a thumb. Very convenient, especially when one wakes up in the middle of the desert with no recollection whatsoever of how they ended up there. The crew obliges unperturbed, welcoming Lazlo on board with a frosted glass of lime soda. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Ignore the stares of your traumatised fellow travellers.->234]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/WHWSr5P.jpg"/> The giant foot-shaped pools that form in the path of the Wandering Colossi offer little more than a humorous photo opportunity. Hapless tourists, effectively stranded in this remote location, are subsequently at the mercy of cunning souvenir sellers offering shoddy foot-themed t-shirts, prints, snow globes and stale pastries. You lose track of time and realise you need to make your way to the station, only you’re not too sure which way you came from... <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Choose to->258]] [[take the->244]] [[longer route.->204]]. [[Choose to->174]] [[take a->072]] [[shortcut.->240]].

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/Oiukc6r.jpg"/> Under the watchful gaze of colossal idols, the train finally reaches the monumental gates of Kadath Terminus Station, a wondrous sight instilling reverence in all who dare approach. Behind them, wrapped in cyclopean bastions, lies the Old City, with its ancient narrow alleys and shaky towers carefully preserved for visiting tourists and those wealthy enough to afford its prohibitive prices. But the true city spreads as far as the eye can see, its unfathomable sprawl humming with the sounds of birth, life and death. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Follow the signs.->246]] [[Play it by ear.->084]] [[Trust your gut.->104]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/GUSd23i.jpg"/> Starved and wet, Lazlo joins a caravan of helpful emigrants on their way to the Kadath border. After hours of bureaucratic torture at the hands of gruff officials, his first impression of the walls is of unexpected hostility, a sight less courageous tourists may choose to avoid. With his identity confirmed and his documents deemed in order, he is finally allowed to enter the region, leaving behind his new friends and the desperate huddled masses of refugees escaping the ravaging southern monsoons. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Dawdle on the secluded beach of Zaffre Cove.->082]]. [[Linger in a fishing cabin on Lake Frigidaire.->238]]. [[Loiter in the vastness of the Dom-Dom Flats.->212]].

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/Jocj9Eb.jpg"/> Suddenly bursting from under the sands to the delighted shrills of children and adults alike, the hermit vendors offer crushed ice flavoured with honey, pistachios and saffron, served with a side of cautionary tales of sunstroke and congestion. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Follow a trail of musty old book scent.->052]] [[Go on a cheeky gastronomic expedition.->124]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/Q3lxhdz.jpg"/> Increasingly unsettled by the incomprehensible gibbering of the huddled masses hidden in the surrounding darkness, Lazlo is eventually approached by a mysterious character. With a toothless, welcoming grin, the wretch theatrically opens his coat to reveal... a spread of collectable taxidermied cephalopods, for sale at a discount. He is also happy to provide much-needed directions to closest train station. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[You are embarrassed, but grateful.->080]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/0QUFlQ3.jpg"/> It’s not without mixed feelings that Lazlo takes in the gruesome spectacle of aracnomakia. Shouting over the roaring audience, a friendly hooligan explains what are only laughingly referred to as ‘rules’ as they perch precariously in the crowded stands. Drunken razorbugs are tied with strong ropes to a feral polyp-spider and released in the pit, each round coming to an end only once all bugs have been eaten or all tentacles have been severed. To make things more interesting, fans chew on sour fluorescent toadstools for their mild stimulating effect. Heavy betting is highly encouraged. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Wipe the bright green muck off your shirt.->248]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/liUcKwP.jpg"/> Imbocans don’t reject modern technology: most boats have motors, nearly all districts have shared solar panels to run appliances such as televisions, and the main island is home to a locally-run radio station, which plays music for several hours a day. But tourists are eager to pay a premium for a taste of authentic floating village life, and the locals dutifully oblige. All day, specially-trained impersonators don replicas of their traditional costumes, sit in suitably-aged reconstructions of the ancient stilt houses and awkwardly pose for pictures, before returning every evening to the comforts of modern living. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Ignore the fact that the fish you just caught seems only partially defrosted.->260]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/nSuWyJ1.jpg"/> Finally finding peace under an ancient mangrove, Lazlo can sit and relax. Under the silent gaze of colossal stone heads and far from the buzzing swarms, he finds time to get blissfully lost in the pages of a pulp paperback. Just as he begins to bore of the trite plot, clichéd characters and stagnant dialogue, a glance at his watch reminds him to return to the station. On board again, an apologetic conductor informs the passengers they will be compensated for their patience with a discounted excursion. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Unwind with a long stroll on the Litus Maxima.->132]] [[Brave the elements on the slopes of Mount Klaus.->108]] [[Go dust devil spotting on the Plains of Toz.->094]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/fFYKNW9.jpg"/> Finding a tombstone with your name on it is considered auspicious here, and visitors have been found starved to death after getting lost in the maze of tightly packed, moss covered graves during their search – a story the gravediggers tell giggling amongst themselves, before pointing a terrified Lazlo to the closest exit. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Confront your own mortality.->180]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/LacQybM.jpg"/> No meal is more popular amongst Piranesi locals, at any time of the day, than the grub pitta . Skillful ‘chuckers’ knead, fold and stretch the chalk-dusted dough in different shapes and sizes, before a generous topping of plump stone larvae is added and the flatbread is baked, crackling and popping, in the sweltering furnaces. A local legend says almost half of the city’s columns are actually functional chimneys for the countless underground pitterias feeding the ever-growing population and the occasional visiting gourmet. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Increase your chances of a successful digestion with a bottle of mead.->200]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/qxokzE5.jpg"/> Lured by the thumping basslines and mesmerising neon lights, Lazlo stumbles into the nightclub district. Just out of reach of the trance inducing music, crowded queues of longing clubbers grow restless in anticipation, envious of the occasional sweaty individual that resurfaces from the ill-lit depths for a breath of fresh air. Wild parties carry on around the clock in Zonzo, from stygian illegal raves to empyrean high-class clubs, each with thrillingly exclusive guest lists. Frustrated by a cool cat bouncer’s rejection due to his less than swanky attire, Lazlo reconciles himself with his new role: a passive observer of the boisterous and colourful nightlife fauna. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Make your way across the bacchanal casualties strewn on the pavement.->206]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/FFiQ29O.jpg"/> Powerless to its irresistible temptation, Lazlo pulls the ornate bell chain. The multitude of ribbiting amphibians hidden in the surrounding mangroves respond with a somber minute of silence. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[You are now under the protection of a forgotten batrachian deity.->068]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/9mVMxwu.jpg"/> As the train trundles across the desert plains,the architectural fever dream that is the city of Piranesi reveals its surprising true size. What looked like nothing more than a bunch of collapsing classical ruins from a distance turns out to be a metropolis, a forest of colossal pillar-shaped buildings that stretch high into the dusty air. For millennia, the Sloogs have tirelessly built and maintained this cyclopean marvel, each generation lovingly carving flutes and friezes out of limestone. To increase the appeal for antiquarian tourists, each surface is skillfully – albeit artificially – weathered for maximum age. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Haggle for a cheap aracnomakia ticket.->162]] [[Inquire about the tradition of keg tossing.->040]] [[Drop by a modern art exhibition, go to page.->198]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/HZHZrhh.jpg"/> The religious majority of Imboca believe cremation is the only way a soul can be freed of its earthly body and travel to its next incarnation. As a result, cremations are joyful occasions, full of floats and fanfare resembling a festive parade. Complex wooden structures hold the dear departed, carried aloft by a chanting crowd. At the burning grounds, the body is placed in a receptacle resembling mythological creatures and is set on fire. Foreign visitors are welcome to observe this marvelous display of pageantry and faith from a comfortably distant skiff. Less welcome are the tourists’ boisterous drinking and snacking during this sacred part of Imbocan life. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Stare at the mesmerizing flames while munching on some popcorn.->034]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/7SWwv2t.jpg"/> The air gets thinner as the train begins the long corkscrew ascent to the peaks of Mt. Moo. In brief moments when weather conditions permit, passengers catch glimpses of stunning panoramas: dizzying cliffs, fluttering prayer flags and terraced countryside, all from the comfort of their grizzled seats as the venerable engine struggles against the relentless incline. Once the snow-capped summit is reached, all passengers disembark and are crammed into brightly decorated trucks to be confidently sped along the narrow trails by drivers laughing smugly at the mere inches separating them from unthinkable catastrophe. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Stargazing at the Zodiac Orrery sounds appealing.->050]] [[You feel the need for a restorative dip in hot thermal waters.->218]] [[Some quiet introspection at the Well of Sighs is what you’re after.->056]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/prIzvZY.jpg"/> Imperceptible at first, the incline gradually increases as the Kadath Express prepares for long climb up to Mt. Moo Station. All passengers are reminded to avoid leaning out of the windows and all flat surfaces in the dining area are tilted a compensatory 30 degrees to offset the angle of the ascent – this will take a while. From the window of his private cabin, Lazlo Kodak enjoys the clear, crisp air and rich panorama. As he attempts to examine a brochure describing the next points of interest on the itinerary, Lazlo realises it’s written in a language unknown to him. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Where you ->112]][[will end up ->102]][[is a mystery.->062]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/1mIuPb6.jpg"/> Peeping-bud nectar is extracted by ruthless poking, a traumatic procedure that makes the sentient plants inherently distrustful, a feeling fully reciprocated by Lazlo as he struggles to escape from their piercing stare. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[You are unsettled by their silent, judgmental gaze.->180]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/LQlD0XY.jpg"/> Butter tea provides plenty of caloric energy and is particularly suited to high altitudes; butter, of course, being an effective preventative against chapped lips. Its ritual preparation is a cornerstone of local hospitality and popular topic for debate. In this particular house, tea leaves are steeped into boiling water until it turns black. Salt is added, along with a pinch of soda. The tea is then strained through a horse-hair colander into a wooden churn together with a large lump of fresh yak butter and churned until it reaches a stew-like consistency. It’s then transferred to copper pots that sits on a brazier to keep them warm, finally ready to be consumed. According to local customs, butter tea should be drunk in small sips. After each sip, the bowl is refilled to the brim by an attentive host. Exiting this loop is tricky business. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Drink an unnecessarily large amount in attempt to please your host.->090]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/ACvn335.jpg"/> Strollers on the St. Lapin promenade are warned against the sleepy seaside resort town’s peculiar microclimate and are advised to carry an umbrella at all times to protect themselves from the mischievous miniature typhoons. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Set up an appointment with a chiromancer.->228]] [[Attend this evening’s spectacular rodent parade.->236]] [[Participate in a cable-car crocodile safari.->134]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/8ZQsQTs.jpg"/> There is no conclusive evidence supporting the claim that ice baths are beneficial to one’s health and wellbeing. More often than not, dipping into a freezing pool is a rite of passage, a peer-pressure induced test of virility and courage required to be accepted as part of a group of sadomasochists. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Sip on the local remedy recommended to regain regular blood circulation.->156]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/mF57L2N.jpg"/> Dreading the dramatic final descent to the plains of Kadath, Lazlo decides to travel the last leg of the journey on foot. Armed only with his trusty pair of walking shoes and a sturdy stick, he ends up rolling down the mountain and hopping across hills and rice paddies as the landscape gets gradually greener and warmer. At first, he follows a well-worn trail and recommendations from villagers he meets along the path; but as his confidence builds, he begins carving his own trail, a solitary figure boldly striking forth into this wild world. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Follow your heart.->252]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/w3KdCvD.jpg"/> After following a blind bellboy along what seemed like miles of labyrinthine corridors, Lazlo struggles to fall asleep. The dingy empty room lacks comforts and hygiene but offers an abundant soundscape: hissing radiators, creaking bed frames, dripping taps, deteriorating wallpaper and a loud, persistent knocking, the source of which Lazlo soon wishes he hadn’t investigated. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Triple-check you’ve locked your door.->140]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/mnkOtJL.jpg"/> The vast halls of the Museum of Bidimensional Art are almost devoid of visitors, with the exception of a sparse gaggle of regretful tourists. Decades ago, a rebellious group of avant-garde artists attempted to revive the stagnating cultural scene of Piranesi with a varied exhibition of trompe l’oeil frescoes, detailed paintings and rich tapestries. Failing to make any impact whatsoever on the everlasting local preference for three dimensional art such as sculpture and architecture, the brave artists have since all perished, pennyless and forgotten, their futile efforts sardonically memorialised for the ages. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[You are unimpressed by these unpopular masterpieces.->248]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/oefVzcg.jpg"/> With departure imminent, Lazlo begins to panic – oblivious to being within walking distance of the station – while a conveniently-present pack of taxi drivers begin hollering enthusiastically. Melodrama erupts among the cabbies but contention for the tasty client is largely a ritual affair; it’s not long before Lazlo finds himself in the back of an elaborately-decorated rickshaw. An hour later, following a well-rehearsed outrage and subsequent ransom, the driver drops him off. On the other side of town. Stranded. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[You are a First Class ticket holder.->100]] [[You are a Second Class ticket holder.->066]] [[You are a Third Class ticket holder.->098]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/bzPfzWR.jpg"/> Invited to a last-minute audience with the local sultan, Lazlo finds himself telling tales of his recent travels to a paunchy prince and his bored stiff court. Briefly amused by his misfortunes, they casually sling a few coins at him before he is ejected from the Alabaster Palace. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Return to the train feeling baffled and slightly used.->080]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/5iI3QB2.jpg"/> Taxonomy hardly being his forte, Lazlo can’t classify with certainty the critters as either vicious stray dogs or mangy giant rats. Ultimately deterred by rock throwing and some undignified hollering, the giggling creatures eventually disappear back into the dark alleys they had originated from. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Are you done abusing the indigenous wildlife?->068]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/jO4X2Zm.jpg"/> In the famous floating markets of Zonzo, air gondolas flutter between hundreds of little shops offering a plethora of products: traditional clothes, medicines, antiques whose veracity is best described as dubious – peculiar furniture, gold trinkets, silver cutlery, cheap souvenirs – and even exotic pets. Unaccustomed to the high art of bargaining, Lazlo finds it unbearably confronting. Convinced he makes more money in a month than the locals do in a year and concerned that the effectiveness of his bartering could wreak deprivation on the merchants’ children, Lazlo is the perfect target for the leering, steely-eyed vendors... <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Witness the renowned acrobatic skills of the ochocooks.->148]] [[Go for some late night snacking on enticing grilled morsels.->110]] [[People-watch with a comforting bowl of hot noodles.->122]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/P6Itd2h.jpg"/> Blessings and prayers echo through all classes of passengers in preparation for the most dangerous part of the trip: the dramatic descent to the Kadath plateau! Scorching grappa is passed around, offered by the conductor to help the passengers brave the infamous Last Dive, a blood-curdling plunge where the train reaches formidable speed. The potential for derail looms large. Travel companions huddle together and hold tight to each other, as shared memories flash before their eyes, filling them all with so much adrenaline that they unanimously request an additional stop before the end of the line. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Dawdle on the secluded beach of Zaffre Cove.->082]]. [[Linger in a fishing cabin on Lake Frigidaire.->238]]. [[Loiter in the vastness of the Dom-Dom Flats.->212]].

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/1VN7SO5.jpg"/> Local legends say the city of Zonzo was funded by the forced laborers that built the viaducts. In order to help build the courage required to work at such dizzying heights, convicts were partially paid in hard liquor. Workers had to live on the ever-growing structure for months at the time and eventually began to distill their own spirits using food scraps and spare building materials. To this day, almost every establishment includes a distillery. Lazlo learns all this after joining a fellow traveller on the customary Twelve Bridges bar crawl, which requires visitors to have a drink in each of the adjoining bridges. He will have forgotten the entire evening by the following day. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Remember to watch your step and stay hydrated.->206]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/RHNAN78.jpg"/> Long-haul truck drivers often cover distances of thousands of miles and are away from home for days, weeks or even months on end. For time-critical loads such as this rapidly decomposing whale carcass, companies may opt to employ teams of truckers which can cover more miles than a single driver. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[You’re in dire need of a lift to the station, so plug your nose and hitch a ride.->156]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/kWAiC7L.jpg"/> Provided one remembers to avoid looking down, the sights, sounds and temptations of Zonzo – together with its exuberant atmosphere and constant swaying – lulls visitors into a open-minded, explorative mood. After joining a group of salarymen in a cheerful after-work bar-hopping session, Lazlo is dragged into karaoke bars across town as his companions dutifully educate him – thoroughly and without mercy - in Zonzo’s complex drinking etiquette. Events of the evening become vague and fragmented as Lazlo gets lost in the bustling nightlife, progressively more dazed and confused... <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[You are a First Class ticket holder.->152]] [[You are a Second Class ticket holder.->022]] [[You are a Third Class ticket holder.->256]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/tMQmyCp.jpg"/> Traditionally, fishing is strictly forbidden during the rainy season, and the locals rely on great quantities of fish caught and preserved during the dry season, which they call bakalau . Fish of any kind may be prepared as bakalau: split open, gutted, salted liberally, and dried in the sun. What began as a preservation technique has survived due to its nostalgic appeal, preparatory ease and reassuringly consistent taste. Unaware that the fish should be soaked overnight and cooked before being consumed, Lazlo gnaws on the salty wooden jerky, thoroughly unimpressed. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Wash it down with some suspicious toddy.->260]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/AodNgdL.jpg"/> Seeking solace from their archaic aches and pains, a geriatric multitude gathers on these snowy peaks to relax in therapeutic hot spring resorts all year round. Sumptuous privately owned palaces of carved marble and alabaster, erected to entrap and exploit the mineral-rich healing waters with their ostensive miraculous properties, are a popular destination for a restricted elite: those rich or desperate enough to reach the remote location and bet their wellbeing on antiquated folklore. Comically self-conscious and unfamiliar with the elaborate undressing, bathing, sweating, massaging, and resting rituals, Lazlo finds all this relaxation frankly exhausting. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Question how much physical pain is required to achieve psychological bliss.->020]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/6tTapnz.jpg"/> After spending hours learning about venereal diseases and the dangers of a dissolute lifestyle while holding on for dear life to the pungent fur of a garrulous bigfoot biker, Lazlo vows to never resort to hitchhiking again. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Set up an appointment with a chiromancer.->228]] [[Attend this evening’s spectacular rodent parade.->236]] [[Participate in a cable-car crocodile safari.->134]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/Rjli1BD.jpg"/> The brightly lit walls of the vast halls are covered in priceless historical artifacts of all shapes, sizes and provenance, but devoid of any explanatory labelling. Still, visitors find themselves almost magnetically drawn to specific pieces, stuck in reverential awe until closing time. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Exit through the gift shop.->096]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/OsneAHY.jpg"/> In the deep dark jungle, an exhausted Lazlo sighs in relief seeing the familiar silhouette and glowing lights of the Kadath Express. None of the fellow passengers seem particularly interested in his recent misadventures; they’re all too busy grumbling about an unexpected stop. A couple of capricious Moon Buffalos have decided to rest on the railway tracks just outside a tunnel, and the conductor turns to the local tradition: an enthusiastic serenade to lure the beasts from the tracks. Luckily, the time-tested approach is successful and the travellers are allowed to proceed to the next stop. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Unwind with a long stroll on the Litus Maxima.->132]] [[Brave the elements on the slopes of Mount Klaus.->108]] [[Go dust devil spotting on the Plains of Toz.->094]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/KoWUrLP.jpg"/> The physical door through which one enters a tavern is also a symbolic door; those who enter – acquainted or not – have the right to engage others in conversational interaction and an unspoken duty to accept the overtures of sociability proffered to them. On one hand, communal drinking creates fraternity. On the other, this relationship is marked by mutual caution, obligation and competitiveness, which can seem less than friendly. In an instant, the bond can be broken and reversed should a single, basic and universal rule be violated: the derogatory act of refusing a drink. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Coddle yourself by the warm fireplace while avoiding hot tempers.->090]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/IjqQ8F9.jpg"/> High-probability guessing and inferring details based on signals or cues from the other person are techniques effectively used by psychics of all kinds. But for this palm reader, there are no doubts: Lazlo’s immediate future is full of struggle and anguish, mostly self-inflicted. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Fall for a comforting lie.->176]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/lrsmAl2.jpg"/> With plenty of cash to spare, Lazlo treats himself to a brief stay in a secluded retreat before finally heading back home. While in comfortable hermitage, a thought intrudes on his meditation: is enjoying beauty and comfort selfish? He has witnessed, after all, so much suffering. But for now, Lazlo decides to follow a more reassuring train of thought: appreciation does not rule out compassion. Indeed, the more satisfied and rested he is, the more strength he has to alleviate the grief of strangers, friends and himself. “Perhaps, then, this was what travelling was, an exploration of the deserts of my mind rather than those surrounding me.” -Claude Lévi-Strauss <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[You've reached the end of the line.->TITLE]] If you enjoyed this preview, please consider buying a physical copy of the book: www.kadathexpress.bigcartel.com

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/ALYmcVo.jpg"/> At the height of the dry season, the Whoopee fish inflate themselves to spectacular sizes, and the entire pufferfish population strives to maintain the optimal air buoyancy that allows them to follow the warm southern winds upstream to spawn at the river’s source. Tourists gather on the precarious rope bridge to observe the annual Whoopee Run from what is widely considered the ideal vantage point, enjoying unmissable photo opportunities and a first-hand experience of the amusing flatulent sounds produced by the unfortunate fish colliding with the bridge. In recent years, additional bridges have been built along the river to the benefit of the growing crowds of fish spotters, making the migration of the Whoopee increasingly dangerous. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Buy a Whoopee cushion souvenir.->034]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/i1EeDhW.jpg"/> In the frisky pine-scented air, the sound of distant horns reverberates across Juniper Valley. For centuries, more accurate than clockwork, the monks of Tanglung Temple have been sounding the call to prayer twice each day, rain or shine. As the locomotive cheerfully joins the echo with its whistle, Lazlo cannot help but feel slightly vexed: due to an unexpected delay, the organised tour to the ancient monastery – inclusive of ritual horn performance, meet and greet with the monks and complementary butter tea ceremony – has been cancelled. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Console yourself with ordinary tea and crumpets.->182]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/GLPMxeo.jpg"/> Overwhelmed by the beating drums and colourful banners, Lazlo is engulfed by an entranced crowd and unexpectedly finds himself in a swaying gilded palanquin. He swiftly dismounts the bellowing capybara once he realises the cushy treatment is usually reserved for sacrificial offerings for a local feline demigod. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Apologise for the misunderstanding.->176]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/0B51K7u.jpg"/> Year round, the frozen pristine waters of Lake Frigidaire form a crystal clear surface frequented by professional ice-fishermen. Day trippers enjoy an unobstructed view of the fathomless depths below, as well as the foreboding sight of unlucky victims of the treacherous ice, encased in the glacial screen like insects in amber. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Enjoy the quiet introspection as you beguile the hapless fauna.->192]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/RblZE3O.jpg"/> Sitting under the refreshing shade of a jackfruit tree, Lazlo’s placid pursuit for an empty mind is abruptly interrupted when the notion of gravity reaches his head instead, in the shape of a hefty ripe fruit. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[You are ungrateful for this cathartic awakening.->068]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/pxFLvlE.jpg"/> In the depths of the third class compartment, Lazlo struggles to reach his allocated seat. Squeaking and snorting, grunting and squealing the passengers hurriedly compose a grotesque puzzle. Finally lodged in the middle of a loud argument between two burly brothers, Lazlo attempts to disappear behind the pages of a crime novel. Aided by the mesmerizing motion of his top bunkmate’s feet, he falls into a tormented slumber, tragically missing his opportunity with the catering trolley. Luckily, he wakes just in time to stretch his legs at the next stop... <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[You fancy a relaxed walk on the promenade of St.Lapin.->190]] [[A sleigh ride at the Koira National Park sounds refreshing.->070]] [[A cool drink at the Red Well of Jarana is what you’re after.->026]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/dOqEwWJ.jpg"/> Just as he begins to investigate the vaguely familiar, cobweb-covered features of the ancient petrified idols, a hardly perceptible breathing motion betrays them as sentient monks, deep in ageless meditation, and Lazlo is sent fleeing. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Shrug it off as an optical illusion.->068]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/fVWKTX3.jpg"/> This controversial marketing stunt, conceived by a desperate advertising mogul, has outlived generations of owners. To this day, tourists flock here in droves, as do the thousands of endangered pigeons that come to roost in peace every night. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Observe a charming snake performance.->114]] [[Participate in the Wyrm Celebration.->036]] [[Visit the suggestive Abbey of Tales.->092]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/m3ejWvb.jpg"/> After a couple of hours spent wandering the labyrinth of dusty alleyways, neck craned upwards in ceaseless gawkery at the city’s endless pillars, discerning visitors are bound to realise that the vast majority of the monumental architecture of Piranesi serves no practical purpose whatsoever. Legions of hawkers and touts buzz in the streets, milking the city’s most precious resource – the tourists – while the majority of the population spends most of their day erecting pointless columns and arches, retreating at night underground, safe from the dust-polluted winds. Light-headed from the vertigo and existential dread, Lazlo is beginning to feel peckish. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Grab a snack from a cramped store.->106]] [[Brave a bite of the local delicacy.->170]] [[Join the commuters in their solitary lunch break.->128]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/9TFqI1g.jpg"/> Thousands of sky lanterns are released into the night sky to guide the souls of the recently departed to the spirit world, a spectacular sight but also a capricious fire hazard. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[You are free from negative thoughts, but possibly guilty of arson.->180]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/2Oqw8OV.jpg"/> The following day, a dehydrated and hungry Lazlo is found and rescued by a group of patient gnat hunters returning to their village. Happening upon the unprepared explorer during the low season is a disappointment for the whole tribe, especially as he attracts unwanted attention to a most sacred event they had been planning for months: the Feast of Flies. But traditions are respected, and the visibly ungrateful visitor is offered to partake in a particularly sought-after piece of offal from the fresh carcass. Lazlo predictably – and impolitely – refuses. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Elude the rain of poison darts.->158]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/BzXNHOi.jpg"/> Umbraphiles rejoice! In a stroke of luck of cosmic proportions, the tracks of the Kadath Express perfectly align with the path of totality of a spectacular solar eclipse. For a few unforgettable minutes, a handful of lucky passengers are surprised with the opportunity of a lifetime: special eye protection, themed cocktails and canapes, and a front row seat to witness the miraculous event,all from the comfort of their seats. Tragically unaware, and lacking any companions that might inform him, Lazlo Kodak instead enjoys his post-prandial siesta... <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Unwind with a long stroll on the Litus Maxima.->132]] [[Brave the elements on the slopes of Mount Klaus.->108]] [[Go dust devil spotting on the Plains of Toz.->094]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/rnPnibw.jpg"/> Shaken by the vibrations of the underpass where he apparently spent the night, Lazlo wakes with a throbbing headache. Utterly lost and having missed his train again, he inspires pity in an industrious group of street urchins who solemnly promise to help him. Shortly after they present him with their most precious possession: an illegally acquired artisanal rocket inscribed “Jaw-Rattler” they had been saving for a special occasion. Out of alternative options, Lazlo soon finds himself soaring high above the Sea of Clouds viaduct, overshooting his destination by a few miles. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[Where you ->112]][[will end up ->102]][[is a mystery.->062]]

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/zRGa0pA.jpg"/> Only a few bad turns away from more familiar landmarks, Lazlo is suddenly overwhelmed with cosmic uncertainty for a few interminable minutes, until a helpful passerby rescues him from existential disorientation with concise directions for the train station. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[You are eternally grateful for the kindness of strangers.->068]].

[align center] <img alt="010" src="https://imgur.com/6oKS9O9.jpg"/> A cruise along the mirror-still lagoons, picture-book lakeside, palm-fringed canals and shimmering rivulets of Imboca is a truly enchanting experience. In the huge, slow-moving barge, Lazlo feels like a true skipper, while in fact he is little more than an expensive parcel transported from one picturesque vista to the next. With no-one to share this private romantic idyll, he wallows in the luxurious peace and quiet, reluctantly disembarking to return to the train. <img alt="010" src="https://i.imgur.com/ouwsoY6.jpeg"/> [[You are a First Class ticket holder.->254]] [[You are a Second Class ticket holder.->150]] [[You are a Third Class ticket holder.->030]]

[align center] <img alt="introduction" src=https://i.imgur.com/GvFUnEG.jpg /> Welcome, my fellow armchair traveller! Please, get comfortable. Grab your drink of choice, pack your imaginary suitcase and get ready to follow Lazlo Kodak on his quest aboard the fabled Kadath Express! As you read on and move from station to station, YOU will decide the answer to important questions such as: Why did I forget to bring my sunscreen? What’s on the menu for tonight’s dinner? When will this guy stop talking to me? Where is this crazy train going to take me next? Who can I trust when asking for directions? [[Bon voyage!->010]]